Jeenchee

“If you love me, let me know. If not, please gently let me go.”

Wew! I felt so empty these past few days. I just can’t move on from something which is kinda hard to deal with. I know you’ve been through what I have experience right now. Yeah, letting go someone who is special to you is such a hard thing to do. Do you agree with me? :) Oh well, life is unpredictable; but God is so great in my life. He never let me down; He is always there to comfort me. I am so blessed by that. You know that feeling that you are ready to let go of that someone, and then here comes that person trying to be sweet or cope up with you again? Is it hard right? Oh well, that’s what I felt right now. I am so tired of this feeling, which is I know that it will never come to reality no matter what I will do. I already accepted it. It’s just that I am so tired of it. Yes, I did and tried to avoid that person for the nth time already; Am I too obvious? Coz every time I am doing it, that person always noticed it. I am just doing the right thing (that’s the best thing that I can do). I am confused already; I want to ask that person “Why you are always like that? Do you really want to hurt me?”, but I just can’t do it. I don’t want to make things more complicated. I know I still love that person but I just can’t take it anymore, I am too tired of it. So last Sunday, I released everything; I entrusted it to God, and I was very happy because my heart went well. :) I received the comfort and the presence of God. The confusions, the pains, and the unanswered questions were gone. So here I am right now, trying to be okay and I know I am stronger and inspired to continue my life’s journey. I know in God’s perfect time, everything will be fine. The best thing that I can do for now is to continue what I am doing and I will lean to Papa God in times of predicament. HE IS THE BEST LISTENER EVER. :) Hope that person will just understand why I am doing this. Friendship is good, but TOO MUCH is not tolerable. I just want to treasure those moments with that person but it seems I don’t like it anymore. Because the moment I remember it, it’s just too painful. I know we can’t go back those moments, but I’ve learned so much from it. Life is just so wonderful coz everyday we are learning. God sends us people to teach us and to remind us that we don’t need to be sad nor be lonely in life because every problem, God has an answer for that. I just want to thank God for His greatness in my life, for the exceptional strength He showered over me, and for the wisdom & knowledge. I am so blessed. Stay happy friends, Peejay - “ALL IS WELL” ^_^

A Letter for my Papa Phabz!

Dear Papa,

It’s been 1 year since you’re gone but still I CAN’T BELIEVE IT… :’( I know you are with Him now— Papa God, and you are so happy with Him. I missed you so much pa… I thought I am okay now, but I guess I was just trying to be okay.. Just for our family, specially for MAMA… You know that I don’t want to leave mama but I know God has a better plan for all of us here.. August 5, 2010 was the saddest day for our family. Everything was down that time, I can still remember how it feels… My heart is melting down seeing you with bloods though I’m still far away from your position…and I don’t know what to do.. I can’t move my body and I can’t even shout.. :’( They said you just meet an accident but when I came to the place where you are; it’s seems the whole world was down seeing you on that position… And I questioned Papa God that time.. because of the pain I felt.. Everybody knows how good you are pa… :’( There’s no night that I haven’t prayed for those people who killed you… And I know in God’s perfect time JUSTICE will prevail.. And I always asked forgiveness to God, for questioning Him… I know it’s one of His challenge for me/us… and I believed His plans is always the best…  I just want to THANK YOU pa for loving me/us unconditionally… Eventhough you’re not my real father, but I really feel the love of a real father from you.. Thank you for being such a good father for us, for the disciplines, for the words of wisdom, for the care, for making us close to our Dear God, and for everything… :’( You’re the best father I ever had.. I know you’re still there, watching over us… and i just want you to know that YOU’RE ALWAYS REMEMBERED and I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! I also Thank God for always making me strong, and for always reminding me that “every problem has a solution”.. I’ve learned so much from that challenge… I changed just for our family… I can say that I’m matured enough to face LIFE… and it’s all because God is so good to me…. WE LOVE YOU AND WE MISSED YOU SO MUCH PA! Don’t worry bout us, we’ll be all fine someday in God’s perfect time…

Love,

your daughter - JOY ♥♥♥

God is Real!

Today is another wonderful day… Though a lil bit sad, but still smiling all for HIM—JESUS… If you always think bout your problems? naaah!!! it will just make your face old…  hehehehe.. Just laugh at it… :) I’m so blessed for having such wonderful people with me, that always makes me laugh early in the morning. ^_^  Anyway, I’ve got a great day. How about you? :) I just can’t forget the words I heard from the church earlier. Words that is very priceless. It says: “You don’t need to see nor wait for God to appear before you believe that He is real.” Yeah! Very true, because God is real. No doubts. But I guess some of us HUMANS, is still confused bout it. I tell you brothers and sisters GOD IS REAL. You just have to trust HIM with all your heart. We need to THANK Him because He died just to save us. And I can say it’s a perplex blessing from the Father. Eventhough you can’t see Him physically, but believe… through UPS & DOWNS “He is with us always”.  It just reminds me something. I was upset that time and my BFF Miecy texted me: “Miecy, God made us for a reason, that’s the purpose of our existence. Just try to hug those people you love, then you’ll feel that you are made for a reason, and that someone is happy because you do exist.”  :) And then I realized that I need to be more strong and to amplify my strength just for my love ones and most specially to GOD. I thank God for always backing me up, for giving me such wonderful people, for the life, for the joy and sad moments, for the blessings, and for EVERYTHING. Every problems has a solution. ^_^ Walk with faith friends. God loves US so much.

—Precious Joy—

Letting go is not easy….

wew!! I’m back here in tumblr… it’s always good to be back here… because I can express everything I feel here… JESUS… Tell me? how I cannot love that person? super amazing voice and everything that is amazing.. But now, I’m in the state of avoiding that person because I know someday, that person will leave me alone. And I don’t want to make things more complicated about us. I just want friendship and nothing else.. But how can I? ‘Coz every time we’re together it’s getting sweeter.. and I can’t hide it I’m happy. But when I’m alone, I realized that it cannot be because it will ruin everything. :’( I am sad to let go my sweet precious one but I just need to… *sigh* It’s really painful… But I will rely everything to God.. because I know His plans for me is always the best.. :) the pains i felt right now is just temporary coz someday I will be happy as what everybody also does.. This is just a challenge Lord God… Don’t lemme into temptation because the devil is always not victorious.. expand my patience and strength Lord God.. Thank you for everything…. A LETTER TO MY SWEET PRECIOUS ONE: [hope you will read this] Walking away from you is very hard to do.. But I just have to let you go, because I want to see you happy with someone you love. We’re friends and nothing else. Don’t ask me why I’m cold as a snow to you right now, coz I might cry in front of you. I know you can feel the pain in my heart right now coz you always understands me. I am sad, but don’t worry I WILL BE OKAY. I don’t hate you either because the truth is I LOVE YOU. Somebody says: “If you love it, LET IT GO”… :) The hardest decision I’ve ever made. Nothing will make this pain go away, but I believe God will never leave me alone. I’m sorry for being into you. It’s just that you’re the best person I’ve ever known. I WILL MISS YOU! Specially your sweetness and your concerns to me.. May you continue to share it with others. Please stay the same.. I let you go.. Just to make you see things clearer. and I’m still here for you my friend. If you need someone to talk with.. It’s very hard to fake my smile when I’m with you, knowing that I feel like falling apart. We’ll be all fine someday, in God’s perfect time. For the very last time let me say I LOVE YOU. :’( I don’t want to look into your eyes anymore, coz if I do it will just cut my heart and my soul into pieces. :’( My eyes will still look for you, yet they’ll never find you. Go away my friend, let your wings spread and fly like a butterfly. I knew this day was going to come but never imagined it’ll be so painful… *crying* You have no idea what I’m talking about , but i’m sure someday you will. YOU’RE JUST EVERYTHING.. If loving you is all that means to me.When being happy is all I hope you’d be. Then loving you must mean. I really have to set you free. I write just to let you know that I’m alright.. Can’t say i’m sad to let you go.. Because I’M NOT!! God bless you and please promise me to stay the same. We’ll always be friends. Expect that… Take care! -jeenchee- :’(